Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Hello, Dalai!

The Dalai Lama, speaking at Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, May 2010

On May 14th, I attended an event here in Indianapolis featuring a 75-year-old Tibetan watch repairman named Tenzin Gyatso. He is better known as the 14th Dalai Lama, the Buddhist spiritual leader of Tibet, who lives in exile in India. This was his second visit to Indianapolis; and, having just taught on Buddhism at Heather Hills, I decided to see first-hand what the Dalai Lama was all about.  There has always been a curious side of me in relation to people of fame, whether in religion, politics, sports, or entertainment.  I want to see beyond the mask.  This doesn’t always work out so well. For example, I remember when I was a pastoral intern in 1992, I went to a faith healing service with famed religious leader Ernest Angley. I made two mistakes: I took a video camera with me and…my mom. Continue reading

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Easter and the Bunny

easterbunny.gifI have a dark secret…I killed the Easter Bunny.

That’s right.  For all you fundamentalist conspiracy theorists out there, the grim truth can no longer be hid.  We hate the Easter Bunny and it’s about time someone did something about it! Continue reading

My Triumphant Return to Blogging

(Fanfare, please.)

After over a month of Internet absenteeism, I am back!

(Applause!)

The rumors surrounding my death have been greatly exaggerated.

(Sigh of relief!)

Of course, there could be a myriad of reasons for my inter-cyber silence.  I could have run out of things to say.  (Actually, I did that a long time ago!)  I could have taken a South African sabbatical.  I could have been in a coma from pushing the old lady out of the path of oncoming traffic, taking the brunt of the collision myself.  I could have taken up knitting. Continue reading

Why I Hate Christmas

tree.gifWell, here we are again…December…my least favorite month.  I can’t stand it.  Well, I’m finally going to do something about it.  I’m going to publish the Top Ten reasons I can think of to hate Christmas.  You better watch out–I might convert you too!!

1. I HATE CHRISTMAS because I am lazy and Christmas calls for my hardest work.   Anyone knows that it is the busiest time of year for a music pastor.  Between the kids program, the school program, and the church programs, I am stuck in hyper-drive until I collapse in a heap on my bed on December 25th.  I’m sure Jesus never meant for me to work this hard to promote His cause, did he?  Continue reading

To Know or Not To Know?

why.gifThat is my question.  Why does God allow bizarre things into our lives?  This past Sunday morning, as I was about to begin my early morning paper route, I got a flat tire.  Hey, no problem!  I just got out the spare, jacked up the car, and changed tires.  Took a little extra time but was okay.

This morning, 3 days later, I am in the parking lot of the newspaper distribution warehouse.  My car is filled with papers, bagged and ready to be delivered.  I start the car, put it in reverse, and hear a loud dragging sound.  I get out, and sure enough, another flat tire!  Now, this could have been a major problem, since I had used the spare and now would not normally have had another one.  However, a friend of mine in our church had just the day before gotten me a tire, balanced, and ready to be mounted.  So again, I jacked up the car, changed the tire out and went on my way.

Then it happened.  My wife, who accompanies me on our daily, twilight newspaper adventures, asked the question, “What do you think the Lord is trying to teach us?”

I don’t know. Continue reading

Playing Tag

tag.gifI remember playing tag when I was little.  Wasn’t very good at it.   So, imagine my surprise when I received an email from my good friend Andy Efting saying simply “You’re it!”  I didn’t have a clue what he was referring to.  After some patient explanation from Andy, I realized that the game of tag had invaded the blogosphere and I had been tagged, twice.  This game, however, is a little easier to play, so I will indulge.  After all, it’s a “book tag,” so I want to do my part to promote literacy in the world!  Here it goes: Continue reading

Men Just Can’t Listen Like Women!

communication.jpgHey, listen up. Here’s some important information. Researchers have discovered that men and women listen differently. Women listen with both sides of their brains, while men listen with just the right sides of their toes.

Well, not exactly. But the results would be the same. Men listen with mostly the left sides of their brains, according to a study by Dr. Joseph T. Lurito of Indiana University School of Medicine. Continue reading